FAT : I don't have time to work out.
dB : Whatever. I'll bet you can recite the entire plot line from the past few seasons of "Lost" though. As well as every series on HBO, Showtime, etc. etc. etc. FAT people love to say they don't have time because exercising would cut into their busy TV-watching and eating schedule. I still get to watch TV, I just do it about 30-60 minutes less per day than I used to. That's all it takes. You find time to watch 3-4 hours of TV a day, you can certainly do 25-33% of that exercising.
FAT : I have kids, they just get in the way, that keeps me from working out.
dB : What a totally crappy excuse, I used to use it myself. And it's not like I don't understand. Babies require around the clock attention and it's exhausting. Young kids love to get up in your business while you're on the floor and moving around. And if you have older kids, I'm sure they need help with homework, or getting to this place or that, whatever. News flash : YOU'RE THE PARENT. If you can't make 30-60 minutes a day a priority for you, then you might as well give them up for adoption. Here's how to handle each situation - babies are portable, get a jog stroller. Young kids love to help out, make them part of your workout, have them read a list to you of what you should do next or something (or just go outside and play with them directly like I do). Get the older kids to do some of the workouts along with you, or tell them you need the "me" time and go do it yourself. Yes, being a parent means making sacrifices for your kids, but it also means setting limits and being an example for them as well - and the example you don't want to set is how to send yourself to an early grave. It's so much better for them to see that the "normal" thing to do is to exercise and eat right, not the other way around.
FAT : I'm no athlete, I don't think I could really do all that physical stuff.
dB : I suppose it's a valid concern if all you see are the beautiful people on TV or in movies doing these incredible stunts masquerading as workouts. Or even if you read my blog and see the workouts I pull after six straight months of build-up. But if you're just starting out, you shouldn't be doing that kind of stuff. Start out by walking around the block, running in place, riding your bike, playing with your kids - whatever it is, keep it simple. You know how I got started? Playing video games. Ok that's only half the story, obviously the sitting-on-your-ass style video games will only make your problems worse. But I started out by playing Wii Fit and Guitar Hero: Metallica. Wii Fit is about the easiest introduction to exercise I can imagine, and if you play the drums on Expert+ in GH:Metallica like I do, it's a workout like none other (if you can't make it through the song in the game mode, just put it in practice mode and it'll let you work on it as long as you want). I still go back to those games when I'm injured or sick, they're so easy they make great rehab. Just trying to show you it can be done and you don't have to be a superhero to start out.
FAT : I can't afford to join a gym or hire a trainer, and even if I could I don't want to go to a gym cause I'm too FAT.
dB : So don't go. Work out at home like I do. It only takes a bit of creativity and a minimum of equipment and effort. And you'll save a whole bunch of money in gym/trainer fees and a whole bunch of time traveling back and forth, waiting for idiots to stop sitting on the equipment, etc. Use your own body weight to train yourself, it's a more thoroughly satisfying experience than plopping down behind any machine. Working out at home defeats that "I don't have time" excuse right away because once you get home from work (or are taking a break from working at home like I do most times), the "gym" is right there for you. And hey if you do that for a while, maybe you can go join a gym after you lose enough weight to feel comfortable doing it. I'd rather not, though, I'm happier working out on my own.
FAT : I have a bad back/knee/ankle/pinky-toe/whatever, I can't work out.
dB : OOOH FAT people just LOVE this one. Well let's break it down - most of the time, you're probably full of shit and just using this as an excuse because it's something no one can directly prove. Sorry, the truth hurts. The rest of the time, if you're complaining about injuries below the waist (knees/ankles/shins), it's because your body is not designed to hold the weight it's carrying and it's rebelling. I used to have such problems with my ankles that walking to lunch and back at work would put me in discomfort. Granted I had sprained both ankles fairly badly at some point, but that's an injury from which you should be able to recover without any ill effects (although if I ice skate for a while my ankles do get a bit sore). And the #1 complaint here - "myyyyyy back hurrrrrrrts" - I can tell you exactly why. That's because (a) your abdominal muscles are complete shit and (b) the weight of your massive gut hanging forward is straining your back muscles with every step you take. My back used to hurt so bad that I couldn't run for longer than 10 minutes...in fact, I remember one episode of back pain that was so excruciating that I couldn't carry my daughter around the zoo, and that made me feel like CRAP. But I know now that it was because I was out of shape and needed to lose weight. You have to think of your spine as a tent pole that runs through your body - put the wrong weight on it or put tension on it the wrong way, and it feels like the tent is leaning or about to crash to the ground any second. If you lose weight and strengthen your core muscles (abs, back, chest, obliques), then the tension evens out, the tent sits upright and the pain goes away. There is no chiropractor that can help you with this, they'll just lie to you and do more of their voodoo bullshit - it's up to you to modify the situation. Now my limitation on running is not how badly my back or ankles hurt, but how much my lungs can handle, and that's a great feeling.
FAT : Ugh, exercise is just so BORING.
dB : Well yeah if you just do the same stupid thing every single day it's boring, and on top of it very unimaginative. But if you continually mix your workouts up, then not only will you NOT be bored, but you'll gradually find that you want to challenge your new body by doing new things you never thought were possible for you. Like a weekend trip to go hiking for 20 miles (been there), or biking between two cities (done that), maybe even running a road race or triathlon (both of which are on my to-do list). Any trainer worth their salt would tell you that the only way to get consistent results is to switch up what you to to do for training (that's called "cross-training" which is one of their favorite buzz words), because otherwise your body adapts and then the effectiveness of that training is diminished.
FAT : What am I supposed to do, I just have no idea...
dB : Well that's part of why I did this. Granted there's a bunch of advice out there on the internet for free, but how do you know what is good or bad, and whether it's going to work? Well we'll be able to see that together, won't we....if I lose weight, obviously what I've done is working, and if I don't....well you do the math. Keep reading, I'll get us there.
Diet for Sunday 9/6/09:
Breakfast
- Cheerios 1 serving with 1/2 cup fat-free milk
- 4 oz. orange juice w/vitamins
- one big cup of coffee
- Two slices of wheat bread with yogurt spread
Lunch
- Turkey sandwich (4 slices turkey, 1 slice fat-free cheese, two slices wheat bread)
- 3 large carrots, raw, peeled
Dinner
- Three "meatless" tacos - instead of meat use Morningstar Farms Griller Crumbles Meal Starter, romaine lettuce, roma tomato, low-fat shredded cheese, non-fat sour cream, 1/8 avocado each taco, and Ortega red taco sauce
Dessert
- 2 servings Safeway fat-free Chocolate Frozen Yogurt w/one serving of Hershey's Lite Chocolate Syrup
Exercise for Sunday 9/6/09:
- Mow lawn, 45 minutes (and yeah, household chores like doing laundry, mopping floors, cleaning, and yard work do count as activity)
- 5 min warmup on treadmill @ 3.5 mph
- 10 minutes stretching
- Modified "Daily 16" using Exercise Card 1 from The United States Marine Workout book :
- Start with 5 reps each of the following exercises, each done the specific way according to the manual :
- Pushups
- Dirty Dogs
- Crunches
- Wide Pushups
- Back Extensions
- Elbow-to-Knee Crunches
- Lunges
- "Side Straddle Hops" (which the rest of us call "Jumping Jacks")
- Then do your "main event" physical exercise, which for me is usually a treadmill workout, in this case a set of pyramid intervals, all at 1% incline:
- 2 min warmup @ 3.5 mph
- 30 second sprint @ 10 mph
- 60 second "rest" @ 4 mph
- 45 sec @ 10 mph
- 60 sec @ 4 mph
- 60 sec @ 10 mph
- 60 sec @ 4 mph
- 90 sec @ 10 mph
- 60 sec @ 4 mph
- 60 sec @ 10 mph
- 60 sec @ 4 mph
- 45 sec @ 10 mph
- 60 sec @ 4 mph
- 30 sec @ 10 mph
- 60 sec @ 4 mph
- 60 sec @ 3.5 mph
- 60 sec @ 3 mph
- Finally go back over the list of exercises from the first step and do 20 reps each
- The book has you do specific stretches as warm-up and cool-down and while they may work for 18- to 22-year old recruits, they are NOT sufficient for my 39-year-old body, so I do my own stretches, which I will detail at a later date
- Start with 5 reps each of the following exercises, each done the specific way according to the manual :
- Play soccer in the back yard with kids for 30 minutes
- Told ya it was gonna be a lot
No comments:
Post a Comment